You've always been a finesse player. Has technology helped your game?
I'm longer. Everybody is. A 555-yard hole is attainable in two shots, which it wasn't for most of us just a few years ago. I'd love to see us ratchet the ball back. It goes too straight. You try to fade it or draw it into a crosswind, because it's in your soul, but nothing happens. My generation had to learn control because the ball wouldn't let you be aggressive. We had very poor equipment. Take Jack Nicklaus -- he used the MacGregor Tourney, one of the worst balls out there. Out of a dozen, you might get three or four that were perfectly round. And if you found a club with a great shaft or head, you never let it go. Today, you go to the equipment trailer and get exactly what you want. I'm on a soapbox with this, but I want golf to be the ultimate winner. I want to play Merion again. And who's gonna make that happen? No one.

How would you rein in today's equipment?
First, don't let the equipment companies sue the USGA for trying to set standards. Bring the ball back a bit. And let's get putters off the body. You shouldn't be allowed to anchor a club in your belly or on your chest. We could pick a year -- say, 2010 -- to give the manufacturers time to retool for the changes like smaller clubheads and softer metals.

Have players changed along with the technology?
Absolutely. Take the 20th player on the money list. He may not have won a tournament, but he has won a lot of money. He thinks he's a great player. The fans think he's a great player. I don't see it. Don't show me the money; show me what you've won.

It's more than money, too. Compare Jack Nicklaus to today's No. 1 golfer. Who's more gracious to the fans and the media? Who cares more about the game?

Another thing that chagrins me is all the showmanship in sports. In soccer, you score a goal, you take your shirt off. In football, you score a touchdown or even make a tackle, you pound your chest or do a dance. Everything is, "Me, me, me." Thankfully, showboating isn't tolerated in golf.

Golf hasn't had many showmen besides Chi Chi Rodriguez.
Chi Chi really spiked up the greens with that dance.

What about your victory lap at Medinah in 1990, when you holed a 50-footer on the 72nd hole to force a playoff? Was that over the line?
That was all in good taste and in the spirit of things -- I was not celebrating at my opponent's expense.

You used to be a football star. Why did you pick golf over the gridiron?
At 6 feet and 180 pounds, I was pretty small for football. The collisions were violent. I was physically inferior, so I gravitated to golf.

Did football skills help you in golf?
As a defensive back, you're out there on your own. You have to keep your head up and take it all in.

Didn't you also play QB?
I was the starting quarterback as a sophomore at Colorado; I played both ways. But my mentality makes me naturally suited for defense. I'd rather be on top of the pile looking like a hero than on the bottom of the pile getting the hell kicked out of me.

"I'd love to see us ratchet the ball back," says Irwin. "It goes too straight." Todd Bigelow

Talk about one of your pet peeves: sports parents.
I just about got in a fight at one of my son's soccer games. I'd finally had enough of this guy screaming and hollering, so I said, "Would you please let the kids play?" And he took offense. But these games are for children, not adults. They'll be adults soon enough, and they'll face the problems of the world soon enough. Just let them play.

I struggle with the attitude of the parents. Most have never put on a jockstrap, never played the game they think they know. Instead of letting their kids have fun, they expect them to be Barry Bonds or Gale Sayers. Ridiculous!

Tiger Woods had a superinvolved parent in Earl, and that's worked out.
We're seeing Tiger in his 20s. We haven't seen him at 35 or 40. Let's see what happens. I hope he turns out to be everything we all want him to be. But what he wants and what we want from him may turn out to be diametrically opposed.

What advice would you give parents of young golfers?
I'd tell a parent who's intent on his child's being a professional that he probably won't be. If you want a child to play golf, let him grow into it. Don't send him to a camp where they hammer you silly. If they want to hit a ball into the water and see it plop because that's funny, let 'em. Except for encouragement, parents should take themselves out of the equation.

The Champions Tour sells itself as more fan friendly than the PGA Tour, and it is. What would you do to make younger pros more accessible?
The players who don't talk to their pro-am partners -- I have no stomach for that. And I've always advocated donating a week of your time to a tournament before you get your card. Players should be on the transportation committee, in player registration, working in the locker room. It gives them an idea what volunteers go through. That might put a bit more "thank you" in them. We should help these people who bust their buns for us. They're taking vacation time, buying their own uniforms, buying tickets to get in. Without our volunteers, we don't have a Tour.

You're famously intense. In the third round of the 1983 British Open at Birkdale, you missed a 25-footer, then whiffed on the six-inch comebacker and lost to Tom Watson by one. Did your temper get the better of you?
No. I wasn't mad. I had an offset T.P. Mills putter with a flat surface in the back, and when I tried to backhand the tap-in, I hit behind it and whiffed.

The perception that I played angry was just image. I wore glasses. I didn't have blond hair like Johnny Miller. I didn't have my shirttail out like Arnie. I didn't have a trademark.

But you do have a trademark -- your long-iron play. In each of your three U.S. Open wins, you hit clutch 2-irons.
In the final round at Winged Foot in 1974, I'd made a 10- to 15-foot putt on 17 for par. I was leading by two. On 18, I had 193 yards to the flag, a left-to-right breeze, and those deep Winged Foot greenside bunkers to deal with. I took a 2-iron -- remember the equipment we had -- started it at the left side of the green, and the wind brought it back. At Medinah [in his 1990 playoff against Mike Donald], I hit a 3-wood off the par-4 16th tee for position. I was one step from the concrete 200-yard marker in the center of the fairway, with the wind against and trees overhanging. I was 205 from the pin. I had to draw it, and I hit it perfectly, to six feet. Birdie.

Who do you like in the Open this year?
Of course, the easy answer is to say Tiger, but the way he's driving the ball I don't think he can win on a U.S. Open course. It'll be someone who hits it a long way, and straight, because with the winter they've had up there [at Shinnecock Hills Golf Club] I expect there will be some real rough. Someone who's driving the ball well and exercising great patience. Chad Campbell has shown that he's a very good player. I also like the way Darren Clarke goes at it, and now that he's lost some weight he'll have more endurance. Shinnecock always had my goat. It's sort of wide open, and I had trouble getting a focus on targets.

Everyone remembers Bernhard Langer missing that six-foot putt to give the U.S. the Ryder Cup in 1991, but many forget that you're the one who secured that crucial halve.
The media fanned that "War by the Shore" frenzy. The players never got into it. The camouflage hats and jet flybys -- I thought we were hanging our hats on a tragedy. [The event took place in the wake of the Gulf War.] I'm not blaming anybody. I told my wife, "It's gonna come down to my match." And I had a 2-up lead on Bernhard after 14. That's when you begin to count noses -- I could see everyone on our team watching, and I thought, Oh, this match does mean something. I lost the lead on 17, but we ended up tying.

Your full name is Hale S. Irwin. What does the S stand for?
Nothing -- like Harry S Truman, except there's a dot after the S, like it stands for something, but it doesn't. It's confusing.

We hear you have a new line of skin-care products, Hale Irwin Fore Your Skin. Should Estee Lauder be worried?
We've got sun block, lip balm. We target golfers, but anyone who spends time in the sun could use them. Estee Lauder can rest easy. But how about Avon? "Ding-dong, Hale Irwin calling."